August 5th, 2008

orange-eyed frog

the difference between affirmations and reassurances

I have a Google Alert in for things relating to American Zen teacher Cheri Huber. This morning, one came in and I clicked through to the original post, to find this:
One of my befondnessd authors, Cheri Huber, tells us in her book, Be The part You Want To Find, “One course does not hint to another. defective hints to minus. Having hints to having. defective does not hint to having.” This elucidates the procedure behind avowations.

Affirmations are royalments we tell ourselves to change a belief or improve a property inside us. Affirmations are to be avowed as if they are incident now, as if they already survive. For example, if I want to rise my confidence, I am designed to tell myidentity, “I am identity-decisive.” This makes gist: after all, if I told myidentity, “sometime, I am departing to be identity decisive,” I would be reinforcing that right now I don’t feel identity-decisive. except I royal the property AS IF I have it now, I am wearisome to deed “minus” into “having.”
Whaaaaaa? I'm honestly wondering if English is not this person's first language and there's some kind of translation issue. (The book title given is wrong, and the quotation given isn't the original, either.) Or is this some sort of auto-aggregated, auto-translated spammy pseudo-blog, as scrolling farther down might indicate?

I mean, I know what the blogger is trying to say, because I've read a number of Cheri's books and listen to the podcast. The distinction that's being drawn is between an affirmation and a reassurance.

Repeating an affirmation means repeating something that isn't true. Maybe you want it to be true, but it's not true now. Someone who never moves from the sofa can repeat the affirmation "I am physically active and fit" all they want, but deep down they know it's not true. Someone involved in an unhealthy relationship can repeat "My partner loves, respects, and supports me as an equal" until they turn blue in the face without it having any effect on the partner. Deep down, it's not true.

A reassurance is something you tell yourself that is true. "No matter what, I'm here with you and we'll get through this together." "When I hold myself in compassionate awareness, I am equal to the challenges of my life." "I love you exactly as you are and I will help you work to become whatever you want to be."

That's true. That's real. That's something that can be trusted and relied upon.